LHtFA: An Explanation and a Doctrine For Male Survival

LHtFA…five letters that mean the difference between survival and despair for any male in America and others in Canada and the UK.

Leave. Her. the Fuck. Alone.

The context in which this should be applied is simple.

Any time that you are in any sort of social interaction with a woman, if for whatever reason she states that she wants you to cease your current level of interaction, you should stop that activity and abandon the field as quickly as humanly possible. This rule applies especially in situations regarding romantic or sexual liaisons, but works in any social situation as well.

The second that a woman asks or demands that you stop, you should do so at once and then leave. Once you have left, call at least two friends (preferably one of them female) and let them know that you have initiated an LHtFA. Make sure that they record the person you were with, time, date, and your location at the time that you called them. Head to one of those friends’ current location at once or head home, especially if you have a roommate or family member who you know is also home. Once you get there, let them know that you are home and again let them know that you have initiated a LHtFA and with who.

If you are in the workplace, follow those rules, except that instead upon initiating the LHtFA action, you go to your desk and document the situation at once. If possible, let another co-worker know that you were in an interaction with this woman and inform them of the details as well. This is all for your protection in case of a harassment accusation, which is all too possible in today’s workplace environment.

I’m sure that some women will object to this idea. Unfortunately, the current legal climate has made any other action tantamount of entering a environment of risk. You risk having accusations levied against you ranging from harassment on the mild end to rape on the severe end of things.

I’m sure that a lot of men will also object to this line of thinking, associating it to trained cowardice or “giving in to the women.” In the parlance of combat, it is called a measured retreat. The overall idea behind LHtFA is that you as a man are taking control of everything in the social situation if it does not go the way you want. This does so in a manner which will not take advantage of the other person involved in that situation but at the same time will leave you in a position where you can safely control the outcome of the situation. If by chance that there is an accusation of rape or sexual assault, you will have a degree of documentation that will assist you in defending yourself in the case.

I’ll use the most  relevant example. If you, a man are on a date with a woman and as the evening goes on, things begin to heat up. The date ventures into the physical and then suddenly the woman says:

“Stop, I don’t think we should do this.”

At that point, muster up whatever willpower you have available and do so. Stop at once. At that point you should end the date. Be polite and take her home, if you took her out, or part company if you two met somewhere. But for the sake of your safety, you need to end that date now. If she asks why you are ending the evening, tell her that you are doing so because you “wish to respect her wishes and this is the most efficient way you know to let things end on a safe note.”

Do not allow her to convince you that “she wants to cuddle,” or that “you should be a man, stay but  control yourself.” Cuddling is how you got into that situation in the first place and intimate contact will only lead you there again. As for “being a man,” you are. You are exercising your right to step away and cool off before a situation gets too heated. If she can’t understand that, then there is a definite problem with her and you don’t need to be a party to that problem.

I have followed this doctrine for 30 years and I have seen both respect and derision from the women I were involved with when I had to initiate a LHtFA action. The ones who respected me for doing this have at the least remained friends as they appreciated my understanding and desire to keep things under control. As for the ones who have derided me for doing this; I made a point of never seeing them again and have been better for doing so.

With that being said, If you’re out with your buddies at the club or the bar, you should designate somebody (preferably the “designated driver”) to also be the LHtFA monitor. As the monitor for the evening, your job is simple. If one of your buddies attempts a hookup with a drunk girl or if he’s drunk trying to hook up, you are there to perform a “remote LHtFA.” He may hate you at the moment and even accuse you of “cock-blocking.” But he’ll praise your name the next day when he realizes that you saved him from possibly getting nailed for date (gray) rape; whether it would have happened or not.

Until US law recognizes that the fact that a man and a woman who have been imbibing alcohol and end up in a sexual act are both incapable of giving or receiving informed consent to sexual activity, any male who gets involved in a “drunk fuck” is tempting fate and dancing in front of the gates of jail. Currently, only men can go to jail for drunk sex. A sober friend performing a remote LHtFA can protect you from that horror.

And finally…if you are trying to hook up with a woman anywhere. If she doesn’t smile and enthusiastically respond to your initial conversation or clearly tells you that she’s not interested, initiate an LHtFA action at once. Calling her names and haranguing her over it are only going to get you possibly ridiculed or at worse, arrested. Calling her a “bitch” only makes you look like a punk, anyway. Why are you getting all worked up over a woman who doesn’t want you in the first place? LHtFA and go about your business. She isn’t worth jail, man.

In closing, I’m sure that some women will look at this and claim that this is only going to be used by some rapist to help himself get off from an accusation that he rightfully deserved.

I’m sorry that some of you will feel this way. However, false rape has been a bugbear in the male community for more than a century. Allow me to list some historically instances where a false rape accusation has caused untold damage. Look up Rosewood, Florida in 1923, Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921 (Black Wall Street), and Scottsboro, Alabama in 1931 (The Scottsboro Boys). All of those incidents, while racially motivated, also stemmed from false rape accusations by women against men.

Then, there are people trying to discount the video evidence used to exonerate the four young men involved in the recent Hofstra rape case. The fact that the current argument being brought against the boys is that they should still be punished for recording the sexual activity without the girl’s permission, shows that the prevailing attitude about rape accusations is more about retribution against “any man accused including the ones that got away,” than justice for the falsely accused.

LHtFA…watchwords of survival for the 21st century American man. Tattoo them somewhere on your body where you’ll remember them….



  1. I came to the LHtFA philosophy organically in my 20 or so years of approaching women. I noticed pretty early that if you ask a girl for her number and she hesitates at all it isn’t going to go well from then on. The number is a hassle, the telephone call, first date all a pain in the ass with very low chance of payoff.

    • Exactly. Besides; men need to stop acting so “thirsty” over women in the first place. If you make a move, she’ll let you know if she’s interested or not quickly enough.

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